Julie was out of town last week. She left me…for 4 days. 4 days. 4 long days. Lonely, sleepless nights waking up and wondering why she is not next to me…over and over every night. She is supposed to be next to me. She is always next to me.

But I was on my own.

All on my own.

By myself.

Just me.

If my mom and her mom hadn’t cooked us dinner we would have starved. Mom even served us steak and sweet potatoes on Wednesday!

Yup. Just me. All by myself.

Dad kept water in front of the chickens while I was at work.

Cause I was all alone last week. Farming by myself. Without any help at all…except for all of the people who did all of the work.

All kidding aside, it was pretty rough. It’s not just that Julie was missing, it’s that with Julie gone the kids couldn’t help around the house during the day…cause they went to Grandma’s. So we were behind on housework too.

I openly acknowledge that the farm hinges on Julie but WOW! Just wow! When she is gone everything changes from difficult but tolerable to hard nearing impossible. I would get home from work and start collecting eggs, moving cows, carrying feed, doing laundry, washing dishes…who has time to eat? Even if mom made tacos for dinner Friday…I just didn’t have the time.

And nobody cooked breakfast while I did chores in the morning.

And nobody packed my lunch while I was getting ready for work.

So I didn’t eat.

And I didn’t sleep.

And I missed her. A lot.

I didn’t want to eat or sleep. I just wanted her to come home. Today’s texting was fairly typical. Farm work, relationship work, more farm work…

I know there are single parents out there. I know there are even single parents with jobs. There may even be single parents with jobs and farms too. Single parents with jobs and farms who don’t live near family. And I tip my hat to them. I don’t know how they do it.

And while I certainly missed eating and sleeping, I just missed her. Our youngest cried on our bed with her face smashed into Julie’s pillow saying the pillow smelled like mommy. I know just how she felt. This isn’t about food or gathering eggs or housework. I missed my friend Julie.

I don’t know. Maybe that’s weird. Maybe I’m too clingy. But we are a team. We are united in a common vision. And when she’s gone…it’s like…it’s like I can’t see the vision clearly anymore. Or that the vision doesn’t matter when she is away.

But she’s home now. And I need to sleep.