One of those days. Those. Days.
Something died today. Those are the hardest days. I can work straight through lunch and long after dark…no problem. Come inside, grab a bite to eat and a shower and fall asleep within seconds then bounce up to do it all again the next day.
But when something dies…well…then I don’t sleep.
I lay awake and wonder about it. Will it happen again tomorrow? Or tonight even? What can I teach the children from this?
Am I to blame? Certainly.
I should have been more attentive. But I was busy doing 10 other things, all of which were important and one thing slipped.
One chore got missed.
One routine got skipped. One job that I never do…but should ensure gets done. My oldest has his own little enterprise. Well, not anymore.
And it really is my fault. It’s not like a raccoon broke through the perimeter and went on a frenzied murderous rampage. No. This is worse.
And it really hurts.
Today I got eaten by the bar. And I’m feeling pretty low.
I have to help my son learn from this experience without letting it defeat him. He made a mistake. I made a mistake. It was a costly mistake but …well, it can happen. It does happen.
You can’t lose them if you don’t have them. We do our best. Sometimes we make mistakes. Sometimes, well, sometimes the bar eats you.